I haven't written for a while because it's been an insane week and I've been struggling with how to post without being too negative. I woke up at 5 a.m. this morning with a panic attack, just trying to figure out how I can possibly do what needs to be done, I'm exhausted to the point of collapse. The last few weeks I've been going non-stop morning to night. The tipping point was the weekend, was there a weekend in there, I got sick, my cats got sick with giardia, and that triggered my old girl with kidney disease not to eat, many vet visits and hundreds of dollars later and gallons of medications administered, we're trying to get everyone healthy.
Meanwhile, Gloria's colony grows, more kittens every time I go, even though I've managed to get some out, the older ones I have to leave behind. I've trapped 4 adults so far, but the kittens break my heart. Three that we rescued are very sick with URIs, one has pneumonia.
So when I got a call from Wendy last week about kittens around the corner from her living under a restaurant patio my heart sank. I'm still trying to figure them out.
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| Kittens under a patio |
I've been trying to find new feeders for the colony. I met two people but no luck, one thought that TNR for ferals is a waste of resources and that perhaps euthanasia would be more appropriate, hmm, don't think that will work out.
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| Hank looking kind of old and ratty |
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| MC hanging out |
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| Blinky the one eyed kitten |
I've clearly taken too much on, and I know that, but how do I say no, although it seems that it now has gotten to the point where maybe I have to, but I also know that these cats won't get helped because I say no. It makes me very sad. I see why others doing this get burned out. What do they call it, compassion fatigue, I so didn't want to get to that point but here I seem to be.
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