The new routine

Every night now I go to bed and pray that I will be woken up by Steve coming in to say he has Buddy and every day I wake up and he still isn't home, and I cry.

Ten nights now, and I just don't know how I will be able to go on if he doesn't come home.  Next to Ernie, Buddy is my favourite cat, I know you aren't supposed to have favourites but I do.

Buddy came from one of the first colonies I TNRed, but he wasn't feral, was a purring kneading machine, with eyes black from URI.  I loved him at first sight, and cried all the way taking him to his foster home, by the time we arrived we had decided to keep him.

He's been a delight, full of energy and love.  Buddy was the first one to greet guests and loved any excitement and greeted all new cats with glee, especially the kittens.  He's the reason we kept Dory and Scooter.

So now it feels like nothing else matters.  I feel guilty that we left the window open enough that he managed to get out, and the thought that he's out there and I don't know if he's ok or getting enough to eat or drink, and that I might never see him again, is unbearable.  This has always been my worst nightmare...